Friday, 27 May 2016

Arithmetic meaning

Sometimes I feel like I'm going down south. Sometimes I feel like I'm over and out
Little Arithmetics - dEUS

Check up ... KFLC = 253 ... Hb = 12.6 ... Neutros = 1.6 ...

Just a little update on the numbers, at today's clinic. My light chains are still increasing without accelerating. The rest of my blood counts are recovering compared to two months ago. We - DrC and I - conclude that the dip was, as suspected, the result of an infection. While my blood counts improve, and I have nothing significant to report ("I got a cold last week. ¡Stop the press!"), I can't really class myself as ill. There's so much worse around me in today's waiting room, and outside. In comparison to some of the experiences I have witnessed in my social circle recently, I can seriously count my blessings.

So I am relapsing, but oh so very slowly. Which is the very best way to relapse, and I think I've got my head round that now. ("Falling, with style"?) After some anxious months, I'm regaining my "Whatever!". Ironic that today I am offered a place in a "fear of relapse" course. Not sure I'll attend. To be honest, I can't be bothered counting the score, let alone doing the analysis, right now.

We - DrC and I - permit ourselves a bit of philosophical chat and crystal ball gazing. I'm increasingly optimistic that it will be early 2017 before I end off back in treatment.

I'm beginning to wonder if DrC has had some kind of bedside manner transplant (a different BMT, rather than a bone marrow transplant?) He says, again, that he is optimistic for me; that there are many options for me. Then he spoils it slightly with a joke about
"standing in the graveyard saying 'oh, we were wrong'"
and finishes off with a statement of the most clumsy profundity
"Of course, not having the myeloma is better".
But I feel he is progressing on his own journey with myeloma, in parallel with mine.

One reason I may be feeling healthier is that I haven't done much work in the last few weeks - a coinciding of natural pauses in my various jobs and responsibilities. I don't feel very much urgency about this. As long as this intermission continues I wish only to enjoy living.

So while the days are long, even if life is short, you'll find me basking in the southern Sussex sun.

1 comment:

  1. Glad you've got your whatever back Alex, hope you enjoy a long summer as well as a slow relapse!

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